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Wednesday, 07 October 2009

  • Selfish

    For so long,
    I was a ship lost at sea.

    The waves rocked me back and forth;
    The nightmare sky held above me barely.
    Clouds spun faster than my thoughts,
    Rain pounded against my skin,
    And for the longest time,
    I reveled in the chaos.
    This pain was my pain, alone.
    I was a sinking ship with a hole in my heart.
    I was going down.

    But as I looked towards the horizon,
    For one last glance at the hopeless sky,
    I saw the curve of the Earth in the distance,
    And a light was born inside of me,
    Calming the waves and pushing back the clouds.

    The sun I had longed for,
    that the whole ocean had longed for,
    had been my own prisoner,
    And now, I have set her free.

Tuesday, 06 October 2009

  • Scare Tactics

    I have been watching this show all day[[for good reason: I was stung, like, twenty times by jellyfish, and I'm now really tired]] and have been conversing about it with my friend, Maria.
    What really freaks you out?

    Personally, if it had anything to do with dolls, spiders, or things that touch the back of my neck[[including ghosts, vampires, and creeper murderers]], I would probably spaz out on national television.

Saturday, 03 October 2009

  • Suicidal Tendencies

    No, I'm not talking about the band.

    I'm talking about the true blue suicidal tendency of most young people or adults. Hell, sometimes even children.

    I never know what to say when I see/hear someone saying they hate their life and want to end it all. I try to relate, but sometimes the circumstances are so out of reach, I can hardly make myself think about it before wanting to cry. I know it's a horrifying world, and I know you don't feel capable, but I don't think I could live without you here.
    I know, it's selfish, but it's true.
    I've been hurt and scarred. I've cut and bled and tried so hard to heal again. I know the difficulty. I know what it feels like to be depressed, like your staring up at the sky and stars six feet under the ground in a paralysis. I've felt useless and pointless. I've wanted nothing more than to die before, too.
    But I stuck it through, and here I am.

    You know how I got here? I made of a list of reasons to live:
    ~Bubbles
    ~Clouds
    ~Sun
    ~Wind
    ~Grass
    ~Trees swaying
    ~Music
    ~Lyrics
    ~Love
    ~Babies
    ~Buttons
    ~Colors
    ~Ribbons
    ~Grapes
    ~Cookies
    ~Shopping
    ~Perfume
    ~Boys
    But the one that really meant the most to me:
    ~Friends
    I knew that if I was gone, it would hurt them, and I'd never hurt my friends. They're my family. My life.
    My reason for living.
    I just happened to start liking it along the way.

    Don't end your life before it has a chance to start.
    There's so much you're going to do if you just go out there and do it.
    Rec this if suicide makes you sad[[however you want to phrase it]], or send it to someone you love. Help them see that there is a reason to live, even if it's not on my list.
    Have you ever faced depression?
    What's your reason for living?
    Add your story.

Thursday, 01 October 2009

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Pulse