champagne4losangeles's Xanga

Come and find me.

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 02:54:30 GMT

I'm done.
I don't want to be champagne4losangeles anymore.
I don't really care about True Member, though I do plan on keeping this site up just in case I come running back.
I'll add all my friends on my new site, but it would help if you added me.
I love you guys, and I'm not saying good bye.
I'm just speaking with a different voice.

<3 Jayden.

p.s. come on over

Will I Go To Hell?

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:21:04 GMT

Suicide or self-inflected punishment, does it matter?

Friday, October 09, 2009

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 21:13:51 GMT

The words won't come to me.

Is it possible I have nothing left to tell you, darling Xanga?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:58:19 GMT

tumblr.
It's confusing, and I'm not so sure I like it.
Here, at least, I know how to fix my background to be awesome.
Geez.
And I don't get any comments, which makes me sad.
I'm following a shit-load of people.
V_V At least it makes life interesting...

add me? -pouts-

Selfish

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 01:27:22 GMT

For so long,
I was a ship lost at sea.

The waves rocked me back and forth;
The nightmare sky held above me barely.
Clouds spun faster than my thoughts,
Rain pounded against my skin,
And for the longest time,
I reveled in the chaos.
This pain was my pain, alone.
I was a sinking ship with a hole in my heart.
I was going down.

But as I looked towards the horizon,
For one last glance at the hopeless sky,
I saw the curve of the Earth in the distance,
And a light was born inside of me,
Calming the waves and pushing back the clouds.

The sun I had longed for,
that the whole ocean had longed for,
had been my own prisoner,
And now, I have set her free.

Scare Tactics

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:49:25 GMT

I have been watching this show all day[[for good reason: I was stung, like, twenty times by jellyfish, and I'm now really tired]] and have been conversing about it with my friend, Maria.
What really freaks you out?

Personally, if it had anything to do with dolls, spiders, or things that touch the back of my neck[[including ghosts, vampires, and creeper murderers]], I would probably spaz out on national television.

Suicidal Tendencies

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:27:49 GMT

No, I'm not talking about the band.

I'm talking about the true blue suicidal tendency of most young people or adults. Hell, sometimes even children.

I never know what to say when I see/hear someone saying they hate their life and want to end it all. I try to relate, but sometimes the circumstances are so out of reach, I can hardly make myself think about it before wanting to cry. I know it's a horrifying world, and I know you don't feel capable, but I don't think I could live without you here.
I know, it's selfish, but it's true.
I've been hurt and scarred. I've cut and bled and tried so hard to heal again. I know the difficulty. I know what it feels like to be depressed, like your staring up at the sky and stars six feet under the ground in a paralysis. I've felt useless and pointless. I've wanted nothing more than to die before, too.
But I stuck it through, and here I am.

You know how I got here? I made of a list of reasons to live:
~Bubbles
~Clouds
~Sun
~Wind
~Grass
~Trees swaying
~Music
~Lyrics
~Love
~Babies
~Buttons
~Colors
~Ribbons
~Grapes
~Cookies
~Shopping
~Perfume
~Boys
But the one that really meant the most to me:
~Friends
I knew that if I was gone, it would hurt them, and I'd never hurt my friends. They're my family. My life.
My reason for living.
I just happened to start liking it along the way.

Don't end your life before it has a chance to start.
There's so much you're going to do if you just go out there and do it.
Rec this if suicide makes you sad[[however you want to phrase it]], or send it to someone you love. Help them see that there is a reason to live, even if it's not on my list.
Have you ever faced depression?
What's your reason for living?
Add your story.

I think I just tried to write a poem... :/

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 01:00:27 GMT

kiss
love
hurt
scars
burn
pain
hot
sweat
cold
iced over
broken bones
broken skin
broken hearts
can't sleep
nights burn
thoughts spin

The End.

Secrets:

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 23:28:00 GMT

I told a ~~secret~~ I thought would never pass my lips ever today.
Have you ever told a ~~secret~~ that's so deep, it's hiding under your toenails?